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You like to have sex with
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| A letter of regret.. |
[15 Jul 2006|12:19pm] |
All the things I wanted to say, I'll say them now and this part of me can die with this letter.
I'm truly sorry for what I did... I truly hate myself for it, I havn't seen tears in almost 3 years.. and now it's raining. And it's not because of you, it's because I can't forgive myself. I know I love you, I've never cared about anything as much as I cared about you.. and I know nobody has ever cared about me the way you did... I'm so happy for you, and I envy that your dream came true.. because I know now mine can't.. I always hated that aoi hitomi was our song.. because the ending never changed.. just like me.. I feel so hollow right now, I havn't seen or talked to you in 5 years.. and there hasn't been a single day I havn't wanted to go to you.. and now that thought is a fairy tale. I am truly a wretched person for the pain I caused you...
yui,
aishitteru.. gomen nasai.. sayonara.
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throw rice
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| The betrayl~ your visor is now mine stiffeny~ WEEEEEEEEEEE LETS MAKE BISQUITS |
[07 Apr 2002|06:44am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
] |
FliP RicE GoD: booboo says hullo ^.^
MaGikPanDaGuRL: hi hi booboo how are you?
FliP RicE GoD: he says he's doing good, except kris smashed his head today multiple times for making him sick cuz stef said that booboo made him sick and that it wasn't h er
MaGikPanDaGuRL: *shakes her head at kris*
MaGikPanDaGuRL: booboo the most healthiest panda i know
MaGikPanDaGuRL: steph lied to you kris
MaGikPanDaGuRL: cuz the bamboo is magikal
FliP RicE GoD: oh...
FliP RicE GoD: *apologizes to booboo*
MaGikPanDaGuRL: it makes booboo immune to bugs
MaGikPanDaGuRL: ^-^
FliP RicE GoD: ahhhh
FliP RicE GoD: he's sitting here with me
MaGikPanDaGuRL: ^-^
MaGikPanDaGuRL: he mad at you?
MaGikPanDaGuRL: for accusing him?
==================================================================
FliP RicE GoD: Is this true....
da bubble tea: uhm.
FliP RicE GoD: *narrows eyes*
da bubble tea: well uh..
da bubble tea: he might be
da bubble tea: immune to it
da bubble tea: but
da bubble tea: he
da bubble tea: uh
da bubble tea: still
da bubble tea: carried it
da bubble tea: so he's
da bubble tea: the one
da bubble tea: gave it to you ^-^
FliP RicE GoD: *narrows eyes further* >insert patrick voice< What are you trying to say......
================================================
MaGikPanDaGuRL: bleh
MaGikPanDaGuRL: pick on the panda that doesn't talk
FliP RicE GoD: he does too talk...
MaGikPanDaGuRL: oh really?
FliP RicE GoD: yes...
FliP RicE GoD: to me
MaGikPanDaGuRL: then what he say in his defence?
MaGikPanDaGuRL: defense
FliP RicE GoD: he said... and I quote "fuck this shit"
MaGikPanDaGuRL: lol
MaGikPanDaGuRL: *shakes her head at booboo ...i thought you was a good little panda
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throw rice
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[03 Apr 2002|11:19pm] |
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If I were a wine I would be...
This quiz was created by Krazy K. Take it here!
^hehheh if anyone who knows me well read this they'd laugh =D cuz those are like the only things I drink anymore hahaa
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[01 Apr 2002|01:36pm] |
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Basics: what is your...
01. name? Kris
02. D.O.B.? Jan 16, 1983
03. location? LB/SD, CA
04. religion? negotiable? ^.^
05. occupation? Sophomore in College looking 4 werk >.<
Appearance...
01. hair? Black
02. eyes? Brown
03. height? 5'11
04. weight? 130lbs
Style of...
01. clothing? umm baggy pants =/ usually a jersey and the SD hat of course =)
02. music? mostly techno (trance and happy hardcore), Rap/R&B, NIN, Nirvana
03. makeup? umm no ^.^ cept this one time stef put green nail polish on me.... *flips stef off*
04. bodyart?none, waiting for money 2 get muh tattoo if I still decide to get it =/
Right now, what are you...
01. wearing? wouldn't you like to know...
02. listening to? ...steph going
03. thinking of? how to answer these fucking questions
04. feeling?umm it's morning timer
Last thing you...
01. bought? Iced white chocolate mocha from starbucks =/
02. did? answered that question ^
03. ate & drank? french toast crunch, coke
04. read? "ate & drank?"
05. watched on tv? In bloom Version 1 - dresses (music video) by nirvana
Who do you want to...
01. kill? no 1
02. shag? someone who's name sounds like mine?
03. slap? all but about 4 people that I know
04. hear from? Antwan =/
05. get really wasted with? hahaa *wink*
06. tickle?...booboo? O.o
Favorite...
01. food? Rice
02. drink? Coke
03. color? umm yellow... but only on hot azn chicks
04. album? The Fragile by NIN and Lotus 2 -DJ Mystik
05. shoes? ...the ones I'm wearing.. the only ones I own...
06. site? www.livejournal.com/~riceangel >=)
07. dance? breakdancing ~ liquiding.. BOOGIE!
08. song? The Day the whole world went away ~NIN and umm Something in the way ~ Nirvana
09. vegetable? larry the cucumber from veggie tales? ^.^
10. fruit? MANGO!
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throw rice
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[30 Mar 2002|04:32pm] |
You are trying to establish yourself and make an impact despite the fact that everything around you seems to be against you - putting up barriers, but don't be unduly concerned: you have the right ideas and come what may, they will soon be manifested and appreciated.
You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.
Circumstances are holding you back, forcing you to back off and to forgo all the pleasures, fun and games for the time being. But this is only a temporary situation and before you even know it the situation could change.
You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.
You are presently worried about your future and you feel that whatever you do will go wrong. At this time you are your own worst enemy. All the disappointment that you have experienced, coupled with the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals, have led to anxiety. You would like recognition and a position of trust but you are concerned that these hopes and dreams may not be realised. You are very argumentative and insistent that you are right - maybe you are - but you are pushing too hard. Take it easy, let go, and smile. Smiling and agreeing with people works wonders - try it and see.
Now it's a mix between the two -.- I think that test is evil EVIL......
" partner with whom to share a warm understanding. "
^this will never happen obviously..
" You feel lonely"
^this will never change because of the first one
I'd just rather not know ;p
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[28 Mar 2002|12:22pm] |
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YAY I get to use the car today =D lol I really dun care but like yeah, I gotta take steph to the ortho or sumthin at 2:20 and her aptments at 3:00 then I gotta drop her off at sk00l so like yeah ^.^ CHRISTY if u read this I'll give you a ride if u wait 4 meh but like yeah I dunno what time I'll get there take the second bus and if I'm there b4 it then I just give u a ride if not then I call yu~
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[27 Mar 2002|10:40am] |
LOL #1 =/ you have to know like know how godly this gun is to find humor in this ^.^
and... #2
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[26 Mar 2002|05:12pm] |
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It was all fun
Between me and you ^.^
lets keep diz love true~
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[26 Mar 2002|08:46am] |
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I might be a little late
so you should wait ^.^
I be there tho
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[24 Mar 2002|02:29am] |
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Went to PURE tonight, was pretty pimp, it's a club up in escondido... kinda slow but it's been open for only 3 weeks or something like that.. Ray and rolley are hillarious.. Ray was just like staring at this girls pants for like an hour.. because it had like little horizontal slits all the way up the side of the leg, and like obviously you could tell she wasn't wearing any underwear and it was just funny.. and like rolley spent like half the time buying water I think ^.^ I dunno, was fun tho.. met some hard-core viet AP, this chick was trying to like force X into my mouth and I was like *push slowly away* "down" hehheh.. I dunno I'm not really into the whole drug thing anymore =/ I pretty much quit smoking so like yeah ;P all I need is to pick up another bad habit, give me a month at least ^.^ hahaa well yeah, anyways the music was phat they had a guest DJ who was using one of those laptop stands and holy shet he fucking like owned.. it was crazy, great music... on the 1-10.. I give it an 8 mainly cuz everything was pretty phat cept there wasn't a whole lotta peeps there =/ well that was my night.. peace~
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| Key is so kute hahahaa |
[22 Mar 2002|06:44pm] |
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KeyNegai: I too tired to do anything right now~~~
FliP RicE GoD: aww okies, hehheh why you tired? getting a haircut that much excercise O.O?
KeyNegai: NOOO!! I mean, like, I was racing today, and I ran way way way too fast and my showlace untied and then I almost won...but NOOO!! IT'S ALL THE SHOWLACES FAULT! YOU SUCK, SHOWLACE! o.O
KeyNegai: *shoe
KeyNegai: *SHOE
KeyNegai: You suck, W Key! o.o
FliP RicE GoD: *pats key on the head
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| I <3 muh little 11yr old adopted flip sista |
[22 Mar 2002|04:23pm] |
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FliP RicE GoD: !!!!!!
KeyNegai: !@#$%!!!!!!
FliP RicE GoD: =D I Double/maniac/congafeeling with AA!!!!
FliP RicE GoD: holding a stuffed panda bear!
KeyNegai: OIII!! AWESOMO!! :3
KeyNegai: I can compete with you.
KeyNegai: SSSHHHHH.
FliP RicE GoD: hahaa
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| Ha, my daily life is fucking grand |
[21 Mar 2002|11:45pm] |
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Well.. I had a shitty day, In fact today was possibly the worst but most humerous day of my life... ok so like yeah I come home and steph was suppose to come up tomorrow morning... and so my mom calls to work out a time with me..
she goes ok so what's going on?
and I'm like well the earlier you put her on the train the better because narissa canceled some appointment for me to do this..
==(and well my dad and narissa have been assholes to me ever since yui left so yeah... like whatever anyways,)==
so I'm like well we're going to this thing friday night and it's like a semi-rave not really party at this place I go to study...
and she's like ok, blah blah, plays it off like everythings all good and she's like well I don't know.. I'll prolly put her on the train that arrives there at 2:00
me: Ok, just call me tomorrow and let me know what time to pick her up, or just leave it on the answering machine.
her: Ok
so we hang up the phone not maybe 3 minutes fucking passes and she calls me back and starts yelling at me
her: STEPH'S NOT COMING UP THIS WEEKEND!
me: why?
her: BECAUSE YOU TWO SAID NOTHING ABOUT GOING TO A RAVE AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING THOSE THINGS (and then she started going off and I couldn't understand a fucking word she was saying)
me: Whatever mom *phone headed to receiver* fuck this..... *click*
So yeah I hung up on her, but with reason... one I had a really shitty day already and I had just gotten through a conversation with steph about hypocrisy and the fact that not too long ago my mother told me that it wasn't fair to her to just call her on her phone or when she got home from work to start ranting on her and yelling at her... and what'd she just do to me? /boggle it's a fucking miracle how fucking stupid some people are... anyways... so I got on the phone with yui, and yeah that didn't help much... but I'm not going into it.. so anyways I got off the phone with yui and steph told me that mom wouldn't let her come up blah blah and that she might get punished or some shit and the only way I could still go up to long beach this weekend was to apologize... and at first I was like fuck it, but then I was like.. >inser swallos pride here< and it's not worth not getting to hang out w/ steph, christy, john and the likes just because my mom doesn't know what a rational thought is... so I said, whatever and I called back to the house.. really calm this whole time btw I didn't raise my voice once... so yeah I get on the phone call
Mom gets on the phone..
Me: Hey mom, I just wanted to apologize for what I did earlier... It was wrong and I didn't mean anything by it.. I just had a really bad day today and the past few days and things have been really hard on me...
Her: Well what you did was unacceptable and I deserve more respect then that.
Me: Anyways, I know it's not but I'm sorry and you know I didn't know it was such a big deal to you.. but can steph come down here this weekend anyways?
Her: No, you guys went behind my back and lied to me and my answer is no.. she's 14 she shouldn't be going out at nights to raves and things like that and you and her both know it.
Me: Mom I told you it wasn't a rave, the only thing that I referred to as "semi-rave like but NOT really" was the fact that they play techno music there. It's in this place where students go to study and stuff like that.. and it's like in a nice area and it's like chaproned by cops... but none the less, why can't she come down here?
Her: Well is there going to be drugs there? and ..... No I said my answer is no, you guys went behind my back and weren't upfront and honest about it.
Me: Mom, no there's not going to be drugs there. and what did we lie to you about? This is no different to me/her, and mind you I know what I'm doing , then going to a movie.. so if we were going to a movie and she didn't tell you then I told you would you not let her come down here?
Her: It's not a movie, it's a rave and she's too young to be doing stuff like that.. she's not 16, 17, or 18.. she's 14! and she knew if she had brought up going to a rave that I would have said no.
Me: How often do you talk to stephanie, mom?
Her: I live with her, [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<hesitation [...] appearant,>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] Well.. I had a shitty day, In fact today was possibly the worst but most humerous day of my life... ok so like yeah I come home and steph was suppose to come up tomorrow morning... and so my mom calls to work out a time with me..
she goes ok so what's going on?
and I'm like well the earlier you put her on the train the better because narissa canceled some appointment for me to do this..
==(and well my dad and narissa have been assholes to me ever since yui left so yeah... like whatever anyways,)==
so I'm like well we're going to this thing friday night and it's like a semi-rave not really party at this place I go to study...
and she's like ok, blah blah, plays it off like everythings all good and she's like well I don't know.. I'll prolly put her on the train that arrives there at 2:00
me: Ok, just call me tomorrow and let me know what time to pick her up, or just leave it on the answering machine.
her: Ok
so we hang up the phone not maybe 3 minutes fucking passes and she calls me back and starts yelling at me
her: STEPH'S NOT COMING UP THIS WEEKEND!
me: why?
her: BECAUSE YOU TWO SAID NOTHING ABOUT GOING TO A RAVE AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING THOSE THINGS (and then she started going off and I couldn't understand a fucking word she was saying)
me: Whatever mom *phone headed to receiver* fuck this..... *click*
So yeah I hung up on her, but with reason... one I had a really shitty day already and I had just gotten through a conversation with steph about hypocrisy and the fact that not too long ago my mother told me that it wasn't fair to her to just call her on her phone or when she got home from work to start ranting on her and yelling at her... and what'd she just do to me? /boggle it's a fucking miracle how fucking stupid some people are... anyways... so I got on the phone with yui, and yeah that didn't help much... but I'm not going into it.. so anyways I got off the phone with yui and steph told me that mom wouldn't let her come up blah blah and that she might get punished or some shit and the only way I could still go up to long beach this weekend was to apologize... and at first I was like fuck it, but then I was like.. >inser swallos pride here< and it's not worth not getting to hang out w/ steph, christy, john and the likes just because my mom doesn't know what a rational thought is... so I said, whatever and I called back to the house.. really calm this whole time btw I didn't raise my voice once... so yeah I get on the phone call
Mom gets on the phone..
Me: Hey mom, I just wanted to apologize for what I did earlier... It was wrong and I didn't mean anything by it.. I just had a really bad day today and the past few days and things have been really hard on me...
Her: Well what you did was unacceptable and I deserve more respect then that.
Me: Anyways, I know it's not but I'm sorry and you know I didn't know it was such a big deal to you.. but can steph come down here this weekend anyways?
Her: No, you guys went behind my back and lied to me and my answer is no.. she's 14 she shouldn't be going out at nights to raves and things like that and you and her both know it.
Me: Mom I told you it wasn't a rave, the only thing that I referred to as "semi-rave like but NOT really" was the fact that they play techno music there. It's in this place where students go to study and stuff like that.. and it's like in a nice area and it's like chaproned by cops... but none the less, why can't she come down here?
Her: Well is there going to be drugs there? and ..... No I said my answer is no, you guys went behind my back and weren't upfront and honest about it.
Me: Mom, no there's not going to be drugs there. and what did we lie to you about? This is no different to me/her, and mind you I know what I'm doing , then going to a movie.. so if we were going to a movie and she didn't tell you then I told you would you not let her come down here?
Her: It's not a movie, it's a rave and she's too young to be doing stuff like that.. she's not 16, 17, or 18.. she's 14! and she knew if she had brought up going to a rave that I would have said no.
Me: How often do you talk to stephanie, mom?
Her: I live with her, <hesitation very appearant, in fact she stuttered> I talk to her every day .. and I"m here with her like 24/7
Me: Mom, do you know what I do between the hours of 4:00 in the afternoon till about 10, 11, or 12 every night?
Her: No...
Me: I talk to steph on the internet, I -talk- to her, and she tells me everything, she doesn't have to lie to me because she knows I won't tell anyone.. and you know what, that means I spend 8 hours a day talking and listening to someone.. despite wether it's over the phone, internet, etc...
Her: Well.. <still hesitant> You two are brothers and sisters and you can have your talks.. <trailed off here and couldn't explain>
(I changed the subject here with the intention of straying away from sending her into a mental-breakdown from realization)
Me: mom, it's not a rave.. I just explained that you know it wasn't really a big deal to either of us and it was kind of irrelevant, we weren't even sure we were going to go.. and it's geared towards 14-16 year olds.. it's not like it's a bunch of 20-25 year olds getting drunk and freaking.. I don't understand why she can't just come down here still, if you don't want us to go, I will not take her.. that's fine but you shouldn't like punish her..
Her: I told you my answer is no, she's not coming down there and... you know what I don't have to explain myself. I'm the parent here and this is my house, and she's my daughter.
Me: You just told me that steph's a piece of property..<interuppted>
Her: I didn't *something here I couldn't hear it, cuz I interrupted her*
Me: MOM, stop and just listen to me for one second ok.. Steph is a responsible young adult, in fact she's more mature then most of the 16,17,18 year olds I know ok? She's a straight A student, she doesn't do drugs, she doesn't go out at night.. she doesn't smoke and I don't offer or try to get her too, even if she asked I'd prolly smack her and tell her to fuck off.. ok and you know everyone including you has been telling me that I need to act more responsible and that I need to start doing this and that... and you know, it doesn't really work when you guys don't do that for me.. you're the parent, you just told me and you know you told me that you don't need to explain yourself.. but you have asked me too many times before... do I not deserve that? I haev respected you mom.. but from now on I'm going to give you the same amount of respect you give me.. and you can make that deciscion.
Her: (notice she evades the entire responsibility issue) You know what, I don't want to argue about this with you.. I don't have to explain myself, the answer is no.
Me: I'm not arguing with you... please just look through someone elses eyes for a second (Yes I called her shallow indiscretely, I have not edited this conversation at all) to us, it wasn't a big deal.. I was not taking her to a rave, I was going to take her to this thing for people geared towards her age, a teeny bopper club, if you will have it.. that plays techno music.. and if you're really upset and don't want her to go, that is fine but there's no reason you should punish her or not let her come down here this weekend..
Her: You know what, I'll talk to you later *click*
...........................
Now the humor.. heh WTF CAN I QUOTE THIS PLZ, first words out of her mouth from that 2nd convo'
-=================QUOTE======================-
Her: Well what you did was unacceptable and I deserve more respect then that.
-==============END QUOTE=====================-
OMFG seriously.. plz steph, change your name w/ me and let us move away from the hypocrisy... but yeah anyways, fuck it, I'm sorry if I got you in trouble steph.. maybe she'll fucking think about it and comprehend through perception one day and not be so fucking dumb... well thanks, anyone have a suggestion for a last name for me? plz? thanks ^.^ peace out |
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2 grains of rice - throw rice
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| OMG I <3 PANDA EXPRESS |
[18 Mar 2002|03:22pm] |
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mood |
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LOL I sent them an email the other day from their website customer comments/complaints section, and I asked them if they would sell or send me a Panda Express hat, because like I WANT ONE.. and so yeah I'm like obsessed with panda express.. but none the less I figured they just took it as a joke and blew me off and I was like damn BUT today when I woke I checked my email and got this...
====================================================================
From: Robert.Hernandez@PandaRG.com
To: kaliazn@click2asia.com
Subject: PANDA EXPRESS
Date: Mon, 18 Mar 2002 10:40:44 -0800
Dear Mr. Hawkins:
Thank you for contacting us regarding your request for a Panda Express hat.
We appreciate your patronage and hope that you continue to visit our
restaurants. Regarding the hat, Panda Restaurant Group, Inc. does not have
hats made available for the general public to purchase at this time.
I have forwarded your request to our Marketing Division for their
information and review.
We would like to apologize for the inconvenience.
Sincerely,
Robert Hernandez
Senior Guest Relations Representative
====================================================================
Seriously, out of the humor in this for a second~ How many places do you think Customer Service would actually spend the time to actually send a formal reply like this? I sent an email back thanking them and stuff because like seriously, most buisnesses treat people like shit these days and it's just cool that they actually sent me a reply ^.^ I R HAPPI even tho it sux I dun get a hat =)
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| Okies well I said I'd write.... -.- |
[17 Mar 2002|11:12pm] |
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I have come upon the conclusion that I will and forever will be alone... I guess some people find that someone special they can share the world with, that they can just -share- with.. however, that is a dillusion of grandeur to me.. I woke up a few days ago.. and was told that I was no longer loved by the one girl that I thought I would end up marrying and be with the rest of my life.. and I have nothing against her, in fact I respect her for telling me straight up... I'm not even really hurt about it now, but no one understands what it is to truely be alone until the one and only person that -really really- understood and cared for you, just stops all in an instant, and no longer has love for you. Heh, everyone's heard that phrase "No man is an island" and well I've come upon the conclusion that I'm the exception to that... if there was one fucking person in the world that could understand everything that I do I think I would kill them.. with no hesitation, and for the simple fact that I hate who I am.. and it's on a basis so far from being tangible or even comprehendable that I actually accept it.. in fact I accept -EVERY- thing, and the reason I hate myself is the reason itself... an infinity paradox in perspective.. I just got through with a conversation with my "family"... have you know, this is the -ONLY- real family conversation I have had that has lasted more then 30 seconds of me telling everyone to fuck off and leaving... none the less, it lasted a good hour or so... I sat there and listened, got bitched at, just told them what they wanted to hear to shut them the fuck up... and then realized that what I had done, is probably the best thing I could have done.. My step-mother started ranting on my father about him playing eq... he explained to her the concept of the relaxation he gets from it and the joy he finds within the game - he also stated that she did not have to like it, but she did need to understand it... she failed to comprehend this, I then explained to her how and what happiness is.. in analogies relating to her. So she comes back and says, well I will not change my mind, I hate that game and I hate when you play it.. and if this is a reality... nobody says you have to hate things, nobody says you have to feel emotions for anything... but if you say you love someone, but are not willing to accept the things they do... do you really love them? or are you just loving some illusion that you have created from them... if she's that stubborn, then what would be the point of consulting and trying to resolve something? she cannot accept the things her husband does... how can anyone expect or even comprehend her accepting things that other people do... I suppose we all just live for pain right? maybe we should try living to live.. and then maybe we'll find a true freedom and peace that rests above our ignorance..
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if travel is searching
and home has been found
i'm not stopping
i'm going hunting
i'm the hunter
i'll bring back the goods
but i don't know when
thought that i could organise freedom
how scandinavian of me
you sussed it out, didn't you?
you could smell it
so you left me on my own
to complete the mission
now i'm leaving it all behind
i'm going hunting
i'm the hunter...
(you just didn't know me!)
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1 grain of rice - throw rice
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flipricegod's journal
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